lately, i haven't been sleeping normally. for the past five or so months i've barely been sleeping at all. when i lie down at night to go to sleep, i just... can't. i lay there for hours and hours and even though i physically feel tired, my brain won't ever shut off and allow me to drift off. i've done that night after night and it never gets better. i have gotten to the point that i can't sleep at all until my body physically shuts down and makes me crash. when that happens, i sleep for massive amounts of time; i once slept for close to 30 hours.
the weirder thing is that when i do sleep, i don't dream. i used to dream literally every night. i had a dream journal filled up completely with the sometimes strange and unusual dreams i would have. i even bought a new one, but i haven't been able to write anything down in it. it's almost like i've lost the part of my brain that allows me to feel things the way i should. instead, i can only feel emptiness.
i suppose i could go to a doctor and tell them what's going on, but all they could do was give me a bunch of pills that i can't swallow anyway. that wouldn't fix anything in the end. so here's hoping that my body decides to be fucking normal for once and fix this problem before it hurts me in some weird way like i know it probably will.
i'm a freak. that is all.
"i've gone by many names, but i guess that you could say my 'real' name is taylor. one of my feet is bigger than the other by half a size. i envy birds. i like tarot cards and magic shops. i'm lost and i don't want someone to find me."